I watched Bryan Kohberger from 10ft away… what I saw off camera will haunt me for the rest of my life

Bryan Kohberger offered minimal words to his victims’ families on Wednesday as he finally admitted to killing their loved ones in a violent, incomprehensible attack.

The four University of Idaho students were stabbed to death in their off-campus home in the early hours of Nov. 13, 2022 – a crime that horrified the nation and left the small town of Moscow reeling. 

There was no apology.

There was no explanation as to what made the once-promising criminology student decide to become the perpetrator rather than the profiler.

And there was no indication of how or why he selected his victims, who had no apparent connection to him whatsoever – and may never even have known he existed.

Instead, Kohberger, 30, gave matter-of-fact, monosyllabic answers – nonchalantly saying ‘yes,’ he had plunged a knife into his victims’ bodies, as though confessing to having taken the last cookie from the jar.

But, as I sat in the Ada County Courthouse in Boise, Idaho, a few feet from this mass murderer, his cold responses during the change-of-plea hearing were far from what unsettled me most.

All around, I could see the devastation, pain and unfathomable loss etched on the faces of those suffering because of his callous acts. 

A cold Bryan Kohberger spoke 52 times – only to utter the words ‘Yes’, ‘No’, and ‘Guilty’ – as he admitted to slaughtering four University of Idaho students in 2022 

Madison Mogen’s mother, Karen Laramie, hugs her attorney, Leander James, after he gave a statement on her behalf

Steve Goncalves speaks in front of the court, hitting out against the plea deal reached in the case

Ben Mogen, the father of Madison Mogen, sat with his head bowed as he listened to how his only child, 21, was probably the first to die when Kohberger entered her bedroom on the third floor as she slept.

Appearing to do all he could to follow the request of Judge Steven Hippler not to make any outbursts during proceedings, Mogen’s legs visibly shook as he leaned forward in the front row of the public gallery and wiped tears from his eyes.

Kristi Goncalves wept silently and was comforted by another one of her daughters, Alivea Stevenson, as she listened to the man who killed her late daughter, Kaylee Goncalves, 21, calmly say the word ‘guilty’ for the first time. 

Next to her, a woman covered her own mouth as though to stifle a guttural cry.

The absence of Goncalves’s father, Steve, weighed heavily after his refusal to enter the court in protest at the plea deal he says blindsided their family.

In front of the Goncalves family sat Ethan Chapin’s triplet siblings, Hunter and Maisie, who attended the same college as their then 20-year-old brother. They remained quiet alongside their parents and two friends, who will forever live with the memory of discovering the four bodies that chilling morning in Moscow.

Xana Kernodle’s family was also absent from the court. Jeff Kernodle told the New York Times in a statement that he was ‘disappointed’ with the outcome. 

He planned to spend the week ‘celebrating her life through Xanapalooza’, the annual memorial event honoring Xana on July 5 – what would have been her 23rd birthday – ‘by doing the things she loved most’.

Ethan Chapin’s parents and siblings sat in court as his killer finally admitted his guilt

For Kohberger’s own parents, the hearing appeared to mark a gut-wrenching moment when they heard their only son admit to plotting out and slaughtering four young students for reasons known only to him.

Separated from the victims’ families by a wall of media and others who had lined up since the early hours for a seat in the courtroom, Michael and MaryAnn Kohberger appeared tearful and stricken as they listened to what their son had become.

Even Latah County Prosecutor Bill Thompson – who has faced a backlash from some of the victims’ families over the plea deal – was forced to pause and sip water as he choked back tears while detailing the victims’ final moments.

But at the center of all this grief sat a man who didn’t seem to care in the slightest.

Throughout the proceedings, Kohberger wore a stone-cold expression, portraying no feelings about the magnitude of the pain he caused.

His piercing eyes stared down Thompson as the prosecutor described the calculated timeline of how Kohberger murdered his victims and then gloated hours later by taking a chilling selfie.

As Thompson recounted how Kohberger scrubbed his office and apartment clean and ‘pretty much disassembled internally’ his car, the killer simply looked on intently.

From where I sat, two rows behind the prosecution’s table, I had a direct view of his face.

While the rest of the court brimmed with emotion and grief, Bryan Kohberger was emotionless throughout 

Bryan Kohberger responded coldly and calmly to the questions – giving one-word answers about his horrific crimes

I watched constantly, waiting for something, anything – a flicker of sorrow, a flinch at the horror being described, even a nod in agreement at something that was said.

Nothing.

At no point did Kohberger appear to look at his own parents or face the families whose lives he destroyed.

The only hint of any sentiment came at the very start, when he entered the courtroom – dressed in a shirt and tie with no handcuffs or shackles – and gave a wry smile in the direction of his lead attorney, Anne Taylor, whose defense ultimately saved him from the firing squad.

Everyone else in the courtroom was struggling to contain their turmoil throughout the hearing.

And yet, for the man who has changed all their lives forever, it seems there was no emotion to give.

Kohberger will return to court on July 23 for sentencing, when the victims’ families are expected to deliver impact statements at the hearing. He faces four consecutive life terms without the possibility of parole. As part of the plea agreement, he has waived all rights to appeal.